This Is Just Straight Crazy

I started making a list of things that struck me as "different" (we won't say 'strange' because that has some judgmental connotations) when I first arrived in India. Because nothing is strange anymore. Anyway, it started out as a couple things. I stopped at five full pages in my journal with more to come.

Some of the toppers:

When K. arrived in India she asked who owned the cows and how the owners found the cows. A legitimate question, considering that there are cows everywhere and they all look, well, the same. How do you know where in Delhi your cow has wandered off to? A legitimate question. Turns out I'd never even wondered. I simply accepted that you let your cows run wild. How DO you know where your cow has gone?

Babies on motorbikes. That's all I'm sayin'.

Apparently we're moving houses. I find this out when I walk past the renovations on the corner. They're digging a latrine. Oh, intriguing, why exactly? Because you're moving here. In April. Hello life changing announcement delivered without a qualm. All I know about this move I have gathered from the children at After School. Because all of them come up to me saying "new house! New house!" Yes, great, new house. Thanks for letting us know.
"So, why are we moving?"
"Mmm I don't know."
"Are people moving into our house?"
"No your house is closing."
"Interesting. Are Mama and Papa B moving?"
"No they is staying."
"Ok. If you find out when we are moving will you tell me?"
"Theek hai. Okay"
"Shukriya!"


I had to explain a tampon to my Indian mother. Without being able to use a common language. Wanting to crawl into a hole and wither away doesn't even begin to capture my sentiments.

We went to a cricket match in Chandigarh on Saturday night. There were cheerleaders. We're talking American status cheerleaders. White girls, sleazy body tight outfits (complete with plastic red skirts), fake straight hair, bones sticking out every which way, and awful dance moves. I gaped at them the whole game long. How, in the name of all that is holy, did you end up in an Indian cricket stadium? And then to top the entire glittery silver and gold fiasco off, as they ran from the field, the crowd threw paper airplanes and empty cups at them. A reaction of seduction or hatred, I am still not sure.

I have been living in a rural village for 7 months now. And if that isn't out of this world ridiculous, I don't know what is.